Sunday, July 31, 2016

July 31, 2016

My skin smells like someone else
I can still taste it
So familiar yet completely strange 
Outside my body
I used to think I knew 
What kind of girl I was
Ethically superior
So Proud of my moral compass 
But Jesus, you make me feel lost 
Needle spinning wildly 
And no North Star in the sky
And I know you can never anchor me
All the things I thought I wanted 
Are stuck in the back of my throat
I can't seem to spit them out. 
But neither can I swallow. 

Friday, July 29, 2016

July 29, 2016

When you were small you wished
For a friend
Just one 
Someone to love 
and to listen. 
And somehow now
You swallow your wishes 
Drown them
Drown us
The ones who are patient 
The ones with love to spare 
The ones who stay
I ache 
and I wonder
If someone had loved you then
Would you still turn to dust
In my mouth? 

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

July 26, 2016

I don't pray to gods for things that I might earn. 
My faith is in the science and the minerals and
 the elements of the earth and the sky. 
Tangible sparkling worlds just beneath the dirt. 
The history of the universe is in sand and meteorites. 
I Believe in salt. I believe in neurons. 
I believe in the electrical impulses 
between your skin and mine.
 I believe that nothing is fair.
 I pray to the gods of statistical possibility.
 I pray to books.
 I pray to dopamine and serotonin.
 I pray to the laws of physics 
and beg for an equation to outsmart suffering. 
Faulty wires, neural misfires … 
this one is brilliant,
Broken and brilliant