Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Saint Nurse

Saint Nurse 

I am
I can be 
both grateful and bitter 
For the tenderness you receive 
I would never leave you alone, and I
 weep and shake with thanks that the world didn't leave you that way

Maybe I am a selfish lover after all 
To feel snide about a good person, doing a good thing. 

But I, lover, 
I would swallow your pain like the shattered glass of your windshield 
I would try on your black bruises and host your fractures 
Like parasites beneath my skin 

And maybe, maybe this is my penance 
For the last time someone I loved 
Wrapped whiskey and steel around the trunk of a tree 
Was plucked, flesh and splintered bone,
one barb at a time, 
from a wire fence 

And forty seven days later 
when she finally remembered my name 
and I cried with relief 
I kissed her boyfriend, who never could turn his neck quite around after it broke that night with her. 

And in the darkest nights 
of rehab and blame 
I took what didn't belong
 to her anymore 
But it didn't belong to me.  

And some years later 
Her little girl brain
Fucked the father of my child 
and fell in love. 

And maybe I have to pay in what I took out

When you're strong enough 
to slip the fingers 
On your unbroken hand
Into her wet and patient pussy

Because after all, she was there 
She took you to the hospital 
She took you into her home. 
She showed for all of the things I couldn't 
And she was nice enough. 

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